Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Mr. End of an Age

It seems like yesterday that... no, I'm not thinking of when Bug was born and then pronounced incurably bad - and, no I'm not talking about when we thought Bug had been poisoned by a disillusioned follower - and, no I'm not refering to the time when we, like Frodo at the Crack of Doom, tried, considering only the greater good, to rid this world of evil ...I'm recalling to mind the day that Bug invented a device that would change the lives of biometrically identified Dachshunds everywhere.

Of course his dream (this was, in fact his second dream - his first born on the day Bug vowed never to work a day is his long little life) has come to a sad end. But why! Why did it have to end!

I can easily recall Bug's first day on the job - I remember it because it was a particularly cold day; I remember good times, bad times, even some wierd times; I remember Bug's first promotion, and I rember his rise to the top.

But why did it all come crashing down? I feel certain it was not a result of Bug's management style, nor his relationship management; definitely not his PR strategy, his crazy product ideas, or even his occassionl reclusive spells.

Though I think we'll have to leave it a mystery why Bug, in the end, had to pack it up, he'll remember the good times.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Mr. Ziploc

Sometimes you just need to be aggressive. The world isn't always going to present itself before you. Occassionally you find that you just need to stick your head into the metaphorical feedbag of life and go at it.

Even if that means a Ziploc of dog food in someone's purse.

Mr. Aphid

Can you spot the Bug in the garden?

Ah yes, here he is. Because Dachshunds are cold-blooded, they need lots of sun.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Mr. Devil

Mr. Not Everyone Can Always Get Their Way But I Can

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mr. Trash Can Sleepy Time

It may look like Bug is sleeping in a trash can filled with blankets.  I can assure you that that is not the case, nor would he ever have any association with a trash can, whether sleeping in it, or eating from it.  Just wouldn't happen.

Friday, May 8, 2009

DES: The Dachshund Ear System

The Dachshund's ears are quite prominent and rightly so: they are one of the most critical systems aboard the Dachshund vessel and they serve in many roles.

The ears are swept back for transport while trotting...

Radar: Orange Alert - the ears are finely tuned for sensing far off threats.

Red Alert! At this alert level there's no messing around; the tongue retracts into its hatch and all energy is diverted to the ears which can pinpoint suspicious behavior at over 250 yds.

At full gallop the ears unfurl and help to steer the dachshund, much like a cheetah's tail, as he accelerates to speeds, upwards of 8 mph.  

Finally, the ears serve as a braking mechanism; they are parachutes much like the space-shuttle uses when landing.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

On the Brighter Side

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mr. FlightTonight

I think this is the expression your Dachshund makes when you drop him in his economy seat on a United flight to South East Asia and then slowly - you turn around... and beat it for the door.

...but i'm not sure - it could be something else...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Mr. Evil Eye

We arrive on this seemingly innocuous scene, greeted by two cheekily small lux-life animals. 

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the short-legged long one turns on the fluffy white one: the evil long-eared one engages his demon laser eye to cause the tiny, fluffy-eared one to contort and writhe in horror at the merciless evil of the long dog.

Beware, owners of these long, short-haired, beady-eyed dogs. They might turn on you at any time.