Mr. Fang

I surreptitiously snapped this shot while The Beast was safely sleeping; for, we all live under the perennial threat of his heartless fangs.

Mr. Longneck

Having accidentally captured this snap of The Beast recently, I felt compelled to investigate The Bug's lineage in hopes that I might come to understand what the HECK he is doing here!!



In order to conduct my search I had to consult the German National Genealogical Archive, since after all, he is German (see post explaining the origin of his breed name here).

I thought I'd start with his close relatives: I pulled up an image of his grandmother.



Ok, the long neck is clearly part of what we're seeing here but this doesn't seem to tell us much. I moved on and pulled up an image of his great uncle.



Hmm, this image seems to make a bit more sense. The Bug is typically horizontally longy, not vertically longy. I had to go deeper into Bug's family. I pulled this image of his great great grandfather on his mother's side.



Alright, here we see the long neck used to reach leaves in high places. I think we're getting close. I next found an image of Bug's great (x5) grandfather, once-removed.



Same sort of thing here. Very long neck. Certainly longer than Le Bug's. The last relative I came across actually bore striking resemblance to our little Animal, exhibiting the same long neck, tail, talons, and red-lizardy features.

Mr. Ferry Watch

Once again, safety first. While humans have 5 senses Dachshunds are usually ascribed 3: danger, inefficiency, and suspicion (there are also the 3 minor senses of comfort, disobedience, and lazy). It's these senses that give the Dachshund a natural ability excel in important safety positions around the world, serving in such fields as port security.

Mr. Morocco

Some of you may remember the trip Bug planned last September.
He'd been preparing to accompany his parents to Morocco.
In the first picture you can see he's pretty much ready to go.





In picture #2 he's just been told that he's not going.

The Dart

I must apologize for this blurry capture of The Animal; it's just too much sometimes for a semi-professional photographer to freeze-frame this little lightning bolt.





Do click on the pic to study The Dart in greater detail. Take note of the swept back ears and the arching tail. What you're seeing are speed-enhancing techniques.

Mr. Genuine Concern

There come times when we need someone who can be there for us, maybe someone just to listen. It is for these times that I recommend a baby Badger Hunter: none can fake genuine concern like a baby Dachshund.

Mr. Pong

Well, as many of you have heard, Bug recently traveled to the great nation of Florida. While in Florida, he kept mentioning how good he was at Ping Pong; He went so far as to say that Ping Pong skills ran in his family, that his frail German grandmother could beat us in Ping Pong, that his Buddhist cousin could beat us with his eyes closed, ... you get the idea.

Eventually we took him up on the challenge.



He surveyed the table, complained of a few irregularities, and we got started.



Next came a great surprise: Bug couldn't play Ping Pong. He couldn't even hold the paddle! The picture below, was forced upon us by Bug - He's not really playing. If you look carefully you can see Bates' hands holding the sad sap.



I don't know why we ever believed that Bug could play Ping Pong. It should have come as no surprise since 80% of all Dachshunds do not, by any stretch of the imagination, know how to play.