Ever taken the AirTrain to Newark (EWR)? Even though by all appearances the trains require no driver, you probably had a little voice in the back of your head telling you, "there's something going on here... this train can't drive itself... AirTrain is hiding something, some small, long secret..." Well, you probably think I'm about to reveal that baby Dachshunds drive those trains. Are you serious? Have you lost your mind!? Have you even paused to think of the implications of baby Dachshunds driving the AirTrain?!? They'd never get anything done.