DES: The Dachshund Ear System

The Dachshund's ears are quite prominent and rightly so: they are one of the most critical systems aboard the Dachshund vessel and they serve in many roles.

The ears are swept back for transport while trotting...

Radar: Orange Alert - the ears are finely tuned for sensing far off threats.

Red Alert! At this alert level there's no messing around; the tongue retracts into its hatch and all energy is diverted to the ears which can pinpoint suspicious behavior at over 250 yds.

At full gallop the ears unfurl and help to steer the dachshund, much like a cheetah's tail, as he accelerates to speeds, upwards of 8 mph.  

Finally, the ears serve as a braking mechanism; they are parachutes much like the space-shuttle uses when landing.

Mr. Gone til the Summer

The Dachshund went South. We went East. He was sent to Florida back in the Fall to further his studies and, for once, make something of his lazy life. Apparently, he was not fully supportive of our decision (see picture below - note: most Egyptologists will have you believe that the Sphinx is a man with a lion's body; we have reason to believe otherwise)



to send him away and has sent some pictures, characteristic of what we hoped would be his diligent new life in the subtropics.

He did not include a note with the pictures and it is difficult to estimate the progress of his studies from the pictures, so I must assume that all is going well for now.







I am hoping to see Bug again during his Summer vacation. Until that time we'll be here.

Mr. Suntan

Any Dachshund will tell you: Dachshunds do not like to sunbathe; such trifling pursuits are left to cats. This is a lie. Please observe the Dachshund sunning his port side:



Annnd flip... sunning the starboard.



Thank you to the brave photographer who delivered these pics; catching the Dachshund in his lie is not a task for the faint of heart.

Mr. Morning After

Bug, I had no idea you and Elderberry were such friends!!

The Dart

I must apologize for this blurry capture of The Animal; it's just too much sometimes for a semi-professional photographer to freeze-frame this little lightning bolt.





Do click on the pic to study The Dart in greater detail. Take note of the swept back ears and the arching tail. What you're seeing are speed-enhancing techniques.

Mr. Pong

Well, as many of you have heard, Bug recently traveled to the great nation of Florida. While in Florida, he kept mentioning how good he was at Ping Pong; He went so far as to say that Ping Pong skills ran in his family, that his frail German grandmother could beat us in Ping Pong, that his Buddhist cousin could beat us with his eyes closed, ... you get the idea.

Eventually we took him up on the challenge.



He surveyed the table, complained of a few irregularities, and we got started.



Next came a great surprise: Bug couldn't play Ping Pong. He couldn't even hold the paddle! The picture below, was forced upon us by Bug - He's not really playing. If you look carefully you can see Bates' hands holding the sad sap.



I don't know why we ever believed that Bug could play Ping Pong. It should have come as no surprise since 80% of all Dachshunds do not, by any stretch of the imagination, know how to play.